Breathing Space......

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more.

If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough" - Oprah

"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement.

Nothing can be done without hope and confidence" - Helen Keller

"Be miserable. Or motivate yourself.
Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice" - Wayne Dyer

Girls Night Out

I am truly blessed to have such a great group of long standing friends in my life. Today, after a huge day and night out for a friend's hens day, I am feeling exhausted, complete, happy and my tummy muscles are aching from laughing so much.

We started the day at 10.00am and arrived home after midnight. We laughed, chatted, danced, drank champagne and had a ball. I feel into bed laughing, such a great way to end the day.

There was a small group of us with the hens brigade who have known each for over 15 years. A special bond is there that guarantees a great time. We were together for over 12 hours yesterday and I loved every minute.

The hen had a fantastic night and by the end of the long day felt liberated and free with herself. It was such a great site to see. No inhibitions, no judgement, no stress. She had a fantastic time.

Going out with the girls has to be one of the best form of medication for stress, depression and living the routine every day. To let lose and relive your youth is revitalising.

I just feel really lucky to have special friends in my life that give me so much than they would ever know. To them, I am thankful.

My big boy Kye

Kye has a very special place in my heart, as do all my kids, but this strong little man has grown from strength to strength.

Kye has a very strong personality and there seems to be no grey areas, he is either really happy or really cranky!!! We manage his personality without breaking his spirit by creating boundaries.

Up until a year ago, Kye was a very anxious and nervous little boy. He would freak out with loud noises or unfamiliar places. He would want to be close to me to feel safe and he would often experience mini panic attacks when he felt insecure or anxious.

We took Kye to his pediatrician to make sure medically he was ok, which he was. So we knew the next step was to nurture his emotional behaviour. I was blessed to find a special lady who changed Kye's life forever.

Kye and I visited the special doctor who he was wary of to begin with. The special doctor is an expert in Kinesiology. She worked her magic, which allowed Kye to relax and release his stress. The magic had to have been seen for you to believe the change. After our session, you could see the shift in his behaviour. We attended once more and he even allowed the special doctor massage him with special oils, which he had never let anyone do in his 3 years of life.

Since this time, Kye has grown in leaps and bounds. It was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and he was free.

Just this morning, I found him in the kitchen eating his breakfast, which he had prepared by himself (first time achievement!). There was rice milk everywhere, which I overlooked and hugged him with pride. He also went on to tell me that he had just done a poo and wiped his own bum (another first time achievement). His smile was from ear to ear beaming with excitement.

For not one moment do I take his place on this earth for granted. He makes me smile everyday.

A Women's Worth

I feel really tired today! It has been a huge week from all angles of my life and at the end of week I am exhausted.

The husband and I had lunch together today and I mentioned I just felt like closing my eyes for 5 minutes. He encouraged me to do so and told me to do it without guilt......

As I was laying there, of course unable to sleep, I was thinking about how much we value ourselves or should I say de-value ourselves. How often do we just take 10 minutes of out the day and just be still? We always feel guilty as there is so much to do and to take 10 minutes would be selfish. Or is it?

I curled up on our daybed and closed my eyes. I shut my mind down as it was on overdrive and listened to the birds and stillness. After 10 minutes, I got up and continued on with my work. It was nice to just be still and do nothing.

We are worth this precious downtime to have the energy to keep going. Everyone benefits especially ourselves. I just need to learn to incorporate more downtime in my day to day to life and with the 10 minutes I had today, I am looking forward to my 10 minutes tomorrow.

Show up as Yourself

When do we really know who we are? Is there a certain age or life changing experience?

Do you ever question, who am I?

Are you trying to be what everyone else wants you to be? Or are you imitating the person you want to be to hide from your true self.

Here is my verdict - tell the truth, share the truth and live the truth to find YOU.

Sound easy? No way, its hard work. Here is how it works:

Tell the truth - Try and tell the truth, the real deal, as often as you can. There is a fine line of spurting words out with no care and gently speaking the truth. Be honest and upfront in a dignified way

Share the truth - No hiding behind closed doors. We always feel so much better when we share the truth about our experiences that have moulded us into who we are. You can tell when someone is ready to share the truth, they have worked through their own healing and ready to share this with others.

Live the truth - Keep true to thyself. Be ethical. Be yourself. STOP trying to be like other woman and create your own life with your own ways.

Deliberately take this challenge on and see what happens.

Post Natal Depression is not a swear word!

Last night I was chilling out on the lounge watching some telly. I flicked across to SBS Insight and the topic for the show was "Post Natal Depression". It caught my attention immediately.

Finally, there was an open forum of men and women who were talking openly and honestly about the affects of post natal depression. It was priceless.

One of the main reasons I wrote my book was to speak about post natal depression. It all seems so hush, hush and not a topic of conversation. Women are either in denial or embarrassed to talk about what they are going through or what they went through.

I know when I was suffereing from this depression, I pretended everything was fine, but deep down inside I knew there was something wrong. Its so easy to live day to day and smile, yet in the privacy of your pillow, cry and feel anxious about every detail of your day.

From last night's program, it has given me an burst of motivation to create more awareness.

Watch this space ladies!

The book has ARRIVED!

What a moment! I opened the letterbox and there was the package holding my book. I held it for a moment. Maybe a moment too long, as the postman came back up the hill to see if there was anything wrong with the package he had just delivered!

I sat down on the lounge, closed my eyes and opened the package. As I opened my eyes to see the book for the first time, tears filled before I could even look at contents. It was a special moment.

All the journal entries, the scribbled notes, the disappointment of my first publisher financially unable to publish the book to finding my new publisher who has created a masterpiece. I had goosebumps and I was in awe of the special book that I held in my hands.

It was surreal. The book looks like one on the shops!. It has come together FINALLY.

Four years ago when I started to write the book, a family friend questioned my purpose and advised that it would be a difficult task to take on as I had no experience in writing or publishing.

Little did this family friend know that my mindset and my determination was all I needed.

The purpose of writing Miracle Beginnings has always been bigger than me. I am just the messenger. The purpose is about to reveal itself with the launch of the book and I cant wait to see what unfolds.

Spreading the word to help each other

My 2nd prem, Kye

My girlfriend messaged me yesterday explaining she had passed on the Miracle Beginnings website details to a friend of a friend who had just delivered a 30 week prem baby.

This is what our website is all about - spreading the word to help each other.

When I had both my prem babies there was not enough information readily available for me, as the mother. I had no idea that my feelings and fears were normal. All I wanted was connection with a mother who had been where I had found myself.

Having a prem baby is never what we expect when we fall pregnant. Therefore, it is always a shock when we are told that our baby will arrive early, in some cases, too early.

My prayers and thoughts are with this special mother who has just delivered a 30 week prem baby.

I hope that someday she will visit Miracle Beginnings when she is ready to connect and help herself through this tough time.

Sleep deprivation

This is my little man Lukas! He woke last night with a bout of croup. No pre-warning, just screaming at 1am and coughing like a sick dog or cranky seal! Off to the hospital to get the steroids. Around 3.30am we arrived home. I laid in bed, for what seemed another hour starring at the ceiling. I was grateful we were home in our beds and Lu was sleeping peacefully after his medication.

Today, the sleep deprivation reminded me of the days when I had arrived home with my second prem, Kye. I forgot how hard it is to function on minimal and disrupted sleep.

As a prem mum, we are usually up every couple of hours feeding our babies or expressing milk or trying to sleep to fit in sleep in around waking hours.

Here is a reminder of what you need to do to keep your energy at a level in which you can function and get through the day.

• Make sure you hydrate. Drink as much water as possible and then some more.
• Rest when you can. Sleep when the baby is sleeping.
• Don't fall to the temptation of eating. When we are tired, we feel like all the junk food and sugar available. Have a choc or two, but also incorporate healthy food for energy.
• Keep your activity low. If you feeling really, really, really tired - accept it! Don't put too much pressure on yourself to do everything on your to do list. Would anyone notice if you postpone your list till tomorrow
• Try some meditation - its like a power nap. My trainer and our fitness expert on our web, Colleen, has a fantastic CD to help you through a 15 minute meditation. You will feel like you have slept for 12 hours

Sleep is such a wonderful thing! We all just need more off it.

Wishing you all a restful night, I know I will be snoring by 8pm!

Superwoman - who is she?

Would the real Superwoman please sit down! You are sending out the message to all of us to be just like you. The pressure is mounting and the image is slipping. Let's make a deal and become real woman who do not feel like being Superwoman all of the time.

The secret - there is no Superwoman. We all feel like we know one, but to be honest, we are creating her in our mind. How? We are comparing ourselves to other woman who do more than we do and we always feel inadequate in comparison. We have a facade to take us through life.

I was watching my favourite show in the world today, Oprah, and enjoyed her interview with Christina Applegate on her double mascatomy. Such an inspiration and touching interview. It was fantastic to see the real her. She admitted that somedays she would put on the act of being Superwoman and on those days, all she really wanted was for her friends and family to still hug her and let let her be her trueself.

Whilst she was speaking, I could relate to her, but through my own experience. After having Kye, my second prem, I became Superwoman for survival as I was afraid of who I would be if I let down my sheild. I was not doing myself any favours as it all came back to bite me when I was least expecting the breakdown.

There are many of us who are trying to live up to these Superwoman standards that somehow have been set by society, mainly the female population.

Be yourself.

If you admiring another woman on how much she fits in to her life or how her children always look immaculate or how her house it always spotless, just do that, admire. Don't try and be her. We are all different and all lead different lives with different benchmarks.

The only person who will suffer from feeling inadequate is you. The only person who puts pressure on herself is you. Give yourself a break and challenge yourself to be the person YOU want to be.

Date Night with the husband

As you may know, the husband and I have been together for 18 years. Yes, we met when we were very, very young!

When I talk about this to other women they are amazed as there are many of us who are on our 2nd and maybe even our 3rd marriage still searching for our soul mate.

Having our babies, especially our prem babies, were testing times for our marriage. Thankfully, we created a strong foundation in our relationship and worked as a team. This played a huge role during those times.

Also having three kids under 6yrs and running 5 businesses between the two of us makes our lives very busy. It would be easy to keep our head down and just get done what needs to be done.

However, we truly value our marriage and know that life would not work without each other being happy and working on our communication.

We agreed about 12 months ago to introduce date night one night every week. The way it works is simple. Every Thursday night is our night. We take turns each week arranging something special to do or share with the other. If we have something on the Thursday night, we change it to the Wednesday, that way, we never miss out.

We have three rules - no talk about finances, business or kids!

Our date night is a night where we are booked in to spend quality time together. The majority of date nights are in our home with the odd occasion going out for dinner. It does not have to be expensive, its the thought and effort that counts. We have had some great date nights including last night.

It was the husband's turn to put something together.

I adore custard filled canoli Italian sweets. I rarely eat them as they are not readily available unless we go to leichhardt or an Italian restaurant. I have a savory tooth, but the canolis send me weak at the knees every time.

Knowing my addiction to these Italian sweets, the husband went shopping and found the canoli biscuit pastry rolls and purchased patisserie custard, which he had to blend with cream and then pipe in to the shell. This was all being done whilst I was in a bubble bath with a glass of red wine (on my own and loving every second).

When I joined him, he proudly presented a plate of homemade canolis. I could not believe it! I was very impressed. We sat down and enjoyed every mouthful. We chatted for a few hours and enjoyed each others company.

Date night is all about connection. It is easy to live in the same house, have dinner together every night as a family, be with the kids and even work together without really knowing what is going on inside your partners head.

Try it ....... have fun with it and commit to it!

I have made it to Week 10....

Well nearly! I am 3 days away from entering in my tenth week of sticking to my exercise program. Unbelievable!

I am very proud of myself. I have exercised 5 days a week for 30 minutes for 10 weeks. I am on a mission to achieve my goal of no wobbly bits!

Colleen, my fabulous trainer, has created a program that is intense and works within my busy life. I have not dieted (cant stand depriving myself) although I have included more vegetables and fruit. I was too confused to know when not to eat carbs, so I eat them all the time!

The results....its starting to come together. I no longer look like I am four months pregnant and muscle tone is finally breaking through the fat. My boobs, which previously hit my knee caps, are now perky, which is a benefit from a certain style of push up. Although, last night, Kye asked why my boobs were saggy. Nothing like a four year old making you feel fantastic!

Its amazing what you can achieve when you really put your mind to the goal. When you really make the decision. I have always known this in my professional life, but to implement the process for my health has been life changing. I actually have time to exercise. I can no longer use that excuse. It's all about making it a priority and just doing it.

Bring on summer - I will be the one in the leopard skin bikini on the beach (with maybe a sarong for added confidence!).