Kye's facination with Santa...

We recently went to a Reptile Party located near the Central Coast for a family Christmas Party.
Santa was attending a corporate function located near us and he was very busy with the kids.

Kye spotted him and waited patiently for him to say goodbye to his crowd and make his away to leave the park. As he was leaving, Kye ran up to him and introduced himself. He asked him very politely if his elves were magic and could he please have a "Sleeping Beauty Dress".

Santa was so kind and took the time to answer his questions and confirm a Sleeping Beauty Dress was on his list for Kye.

Kye gave him a hug hugged to thank him and smiled from ear to ear. The Christmas Spirit had touched him through a kind man who took the time to speak with our boy.

I can't wait till they are a little older to show them the most important side of Christmas, the gift of giving and the gift of helping others less fortunate. However, at 4 years old, our boy Kye is in his glory knowing that his Sleeping Beauty Dress is on the way......

Eating with out guilt!

I opened up the paper yesterday to be bombarded with "How to stay thin over Christmas" campaigns! How sad.

No wonder we all eat with guilt at this time of year with the media on our backs to keep in shape, to not overindulge and to watch our waistline.

My reply - eat what you want! All year we are conscious of what we eat and when we eat it. I personally have worked too damn hard in the exercise department to deprive myself! In saying that, I have eaten too many gluten free mince tarts today and feel a little ill.

See what happens when you deny yourself of yummy treats, you binge when you have the opportunity!! Well, maybe just I do that!!

So, you have my permission to eat all you want and enjoy it without guilt. We all start a diet on 1 January (that lasts one week), so lets just enjoy the yummy Christmas food whilst we are in the festive season.

Reflection....

This time of year is the best! I love the build up, the excitement, the kids, the sound of people having a great time, all the yummy food and of course, the bubbles of champagne! This is us decorating our fresh Christmas tree. So much fun!

Its also a great time of year to reflect at the year that was. We achieve so much in a year that we deserve the acknowledgement to ourselves and a pat on the back.

Take the time right now, just to think about all that you have achieved. Its also a great opportunity to be grateful for all that you have. I was told today that the Salvos in Surry Hills host a Christmas Lunch on Christmas Day for 1500 homeless people and this is now including families who have a car and a mortgage, but no money for food or gifts because they have been retrenched. For those of us who have food on the table, presents under the tree, family to be with, our good health and a roof over our heads, we have so much to be grateful for.

Breathing Space

Don't you wish you could sit in this chair for an hour and just breath! Take 10 deep breaths. Stop and think about nothing. Now go on with a slower pace - if you find yourself rushing, come back t this picture xxx

Christmas - a time to be grateful!

Christmas is the best time of year! I love the excitement of it all, especially with the kids and all the traditional activities we do to create the excitement.

I was just recently watching an amazing documentary when Oprah visited South Africa and agve 12,000 gifts to orphaned children. She created winter wonderlands, Christmas celebrations and memories the children would never forget.

These dear little children are often left alone in their huts when their parents die of AIDS. They take care of themselves, feed themselves and are in survival mode everyday. Oprah's gifts included shoes, clothes, school books, pencils, soccer balls, dolls - all of which the children have never owned before.

The visit made such an impact on their lives, but even more so an impact on the viewers lives. I was touched by the generosity from Oprah and the gratefulness of the children. It gave perspective on the meaning of Christmas.

At this time of year, I really feel its a time of gratitude. To be grateful for what we have, for our families, for our health, for our hardships, for our great times and for ourselves. At some point this Christmas, take a moment to light a candle and be still. Take time to be grateful and enjoy your Christmas!

How is your Self-Esteem?

This is Amanda and I on our girls weekend earlier this year. Amanda is in the front of the photo. For the people who have read my book, you will know that Amanda is my rock and gives so much to our friendship. Over the years, I have watched her self-esteem flourish and develop into a strong, independent woman.

At different points of our lives, our self-esteem can be affected with or without us knowing. I believe, self-esteem is an ongoing development within us all. We need to read more books, listen to more women and really see what is going on within ourselves to ensure we have a strong self-esteem. Once we have this, decisions, focus and our paths will become easier and more natural.

Ask this question - "How do I feel about who I am".

I found this fantastic summary from a book called "How to Raise Your Self Esteem" By Stanley Gross

"Low self-esteem is a negative evaluation of oneself. This type of evaluation usually occurs when some circumstance we encounter in our life touches on our sensitivities. We personalize the incident and experience physical, emotional, and cognitive arousal. This is so alarming and confusing that we respond by acting in a self-defeating or self-destructive manner. When that happens, our actions tend to be automatic and impulse-driven; we feel upset or emotionally blocked; our thinking narrows; our self-care deteriorates; we lose our sense of self; we focus on being in control and become self-absorbed"

Will leave this one with you to think about...

I need to let it out!

I just need to let it out!! Our dog DUKE is nearly 13 years old. Cute and Scary, would not hurt a fly.

Scott had always wanted a dog, so just after we were married he found Duke at the pound.

10 years on, he is driving me crazy! And turning into an extremely cranky old man who is deaf.

When Scott is away for business, Duke plays up in every way possible.

Last night for example, he got himself stuck under the house after racing in their from the thunderstorm. It was 2am in the morning and he was crying out (he is also deaf, so you can imagine how loud he is when he cant hear himself!).

Just 2 weeks ago, Duke found himself stuck in all sorts of areas in the backyard every night Scott was away. Always in the middle of the night!!!! Is this for attention? Does he know his favourite owner is away and its his turn to get me back for keeping outside on a permanent basis?

People ask how I cope when Scott is away with three kids, my reply, EASY, its the stinking dog that causes me grief!!!!!!!

Thanks for listening! Now I feel guilty and will go give Duke a bone.

The word is spreading...

It has been 2 months since Miracle Beginnings, the book was published and launched to the public. Looking back on the past few months, it feels like a lifetime that I started writing the book.

I am thrilled to update you all that the book is selling extremely well and has plans to be around for a long time!

The best moments are when I receive emails from strangers or friends asking to buy a copy for their friend or a friend of a friend as they know they need to read the book to get through their tough times.

We have a new series coming out next year of Miracle Beginning Books - stay tuned!

Women need women

I am so grateful for my girlfriends! They make my world a better place. This week I have been very busy catching up with my girlfriends one on one for special time. I love this time, as the plan is to have a indepth chat about what is happening in our lives whether it be good or bad.

All my sessions with my girlfriends this week have been priceless. After a catch up with an old school friend in the afternoon which was so much fun, I stayed up till 1am last night with another girlfriend chatting about life. We laughed so much that we nearly had toilet issues (I am grateful I have had a Cesarean!).

Then today after catching up with an old girlfriend and loving every minute, I met up with a new friend who had text me for some advice and comfort through a difficult time in her life. We listened to each other and bonded over life experience. This special friend had read my book and felt that I could understand what she is going through with the difficult challenges she is facing in her life. It was a privilege to listen and advise my friend, who I know will make it through.

I am excited to be catching up with my soul sister from LA tomorrow night for dinner. I have known her since I was 13 years old and our friendship has evolved into a deeper level than I could ever imagine.

On Friday night, I am catching up with more wonderful friends who share a common interest in the new movie from the Twilight Series "New Moon". Don't ask! I was roped into reading the books, became addicted and now a fan!

When I sit and chat with my girlfriends uninterrupted and with honest, raw emotions, I feel so blessed that I am surrounded by women who are inspiring through their good times and bad.

Women need women! We can all, at some level, understand what we are going through. To listen with both ears is the best gift you can give your friends.

We have choices...

I am just finalising the details for our December newsletter which is due for release next week and I am so excited to be able to offer a special interview to our members and readers.

I had the pleasure of interviewing one of experts last week. Initially we planned on talking about health and wellness, increasing energy and inspiring mothers to stop the excuses of not looking after themselves.

Instead, our conversation developed into an honest, emotional, inspiring connection about the choices our expert had made in her life to change her life for the better.

The reason why I am so excited about sharing this interview, is that so many of us become victims of our circumstance and allow this to define us as women. Its tricky, when we are in the world of being a victim, its impossible to see the light and clarity to make the right choices.

The key is we need to follow our gut instinct and take a leap of faith. We need to look after ourselves first and foremost to be the best mother and women we can be. We have choices in life and ultimately, they will either lead your life into destruction or into a life of happiness.

You have the choice to choose. Its tough, but the best things in life are not always the easiest to make.

Our wonderful expert who shared her story needs to be congratulated, as she is the voice of so many women in so many ways. Thank you for your honesty, as the truth will set others free.

Hanna turns 7!

This is my baby girl Hanna who turned 7 last week. Her dream is to be a zoo keeper when she is older and was bursting with excitement to host a reptile party for her friends on the weeekend.

Where has the time flown? It honestly feels like 5 minutes ago that she was born and living in her humicrib. Hanna has come such a long way in her first seven years of her life and it excites me to watch her blossom and grow into a beautiful young lady.

Raising a daughter as a mother is a challenge in a positive way. We want our daughters to be confident and have the strength to take on the world. As well as caring, honest and respectful to themselves and others.

I am sure the next seven years will bring interesting times and events, but I feel that we have created a strong foundation thus far to give her a pretty good head start ...... well, let's hope so anyway!

A great article in our local paper

It is great to know our local paper supports local businessess and families. Here is an article promoting my book - http://www.theleader.com.au/news/local/news/general/mums-early-births-provides-the-inspiration-to-help-others/1682341.aspx
Enjoy!

This is a photo of Ali Brown and me in Las Vegas. Ali is an amazing woman who has created an dynamic empire by helping women to create their own independence through operating their own business. I was fortunate enough to attend a VIP Party to celebrate Women in Business and have my photo with Ali.

Returning home from the conference, I have brought with me many ideas and changes to this wonderful concept of Miracle Beginnings. I am so excited about the way the website has evolved and the new additions in the months ahead.

Stay tuned.......the first major change is coming up at the end of this month......

Allocate One Day to Chill

One of my goals when I returned back from holidays, was to allow one day off during the week that is completely guilt free!

This means no emails, no computer, no phones, no calls, no meetings, no rushing.......working from home as its benefits, but there are some negatives as well, especially if you dont have any boundaries.

The purpose of this new routine is to have a day where I can spend time with my children and also have time for me without trying to send an email when the kids are entertained or return phone calls when they are sleeping. I had not realised how much of this I was doing until I changed the pattern.

So, yesterday was my first day. Do you want to know something - it nearly killed me!!!!!!!!! It was so much harder than I first thought. Jeez, how hard can it be to have a day to relax??? Very hard when you have created a habit....

The day was fantastic! After dropping the kids of to school and kindy, Lukas and I went to Kindy Gym and played. Then we went for coffee and shopping. On arrival back to home, Lukas had a rest. This is normally when I would head to the office and sort out emails, calls, work....instead, I made myself some lunch, watched Oprah, cleaned out my pantry, had a cuppa and read a magazine.....then when the kids came home, we cooked pancakes, made lolly bags and worked on craft.

I usually try to do all of the above and try to fit work in as well. However, I could not believe how much I had achieved in the house, with the kids and for myself all in one day. It felt amazing not to feel obliged to be checking emails and phones. It was tempting at points just to have a quick check......but I had to stick it through and I did.

The best part is that I know by the end of the week I will not feel that I have "worked" every waking hour.....my goal is to continue with this balance and not let the other stuff rule my life...its a work in progress.......

Take a Step Back ......

I have just returned from Las Vegas and LA with my pal Phil. We had an absolute ball of a time!! It was worth taking a week out from "life" and reassess where I am heading, what needs to change, what needs to be implemented and what needs to be sorted out in all areas of my life.

It was fortunate that I was on the other side of the world with no emails, no phones, no busyiness, no family, no responsibilities and no routine to really take stock of my life.

We attended a conference for Women for 3 days which was HUGE! The day after we shouted ourselves to a relaxing massage and time in the grand day spa where we were staying. After my massage, I found a gorgeous reading spot, which was private and relaxing. There was soothing music playing in the background and I felt wonderful. I look the time to write down my goals for the next year in all areas of my life - business, family, my spirit, finances, house, health and holidays. I wrote for what seemed like hours.

After investing this time in myself (and of course, the holiday helped) I returned home in a calm, clear place. I had stopped my life, stepped out and looked in. It is easy to return back to the chaos of running around, but still a week later, I have maintained my new outlook.

See the next blog for what happens next.....

Mother Guilt....

Its the night before I fly out to Vegas........and yes, I am feeling mother guilt!!!! Where is the woman who was all excited a few days ago?

It all started with the kids...

Kye told me yesterday that he is going to cry every day that I am gone and will miss me "so much". First stage of mother guilt.

Lu very clingy and demanding, which is unlike him at all. He can most probably feel the anxious levels in the air. Second stage of mother guilt.

Hans told me not to worry about anything, as she will look after the family and make sure everyone behaves. Third stage of mother guilt.

The husband, although supportive and encouraging, has started to become weird and a little stressed. God give me strength!!!!!!!!!! He obviously is starting to feel overwhelmed about working from home, managing the three kids and the house. Is it nasty to say "welcome to my world!".

I just need to breath and keep calm! Last night I sat up and wrote them all notes with a photo of the two of us for each child and the husband. I will leave them on their pillows tonight for them to open before bed.

A gorgeous girlfriend has just sent a text reminding me not to let the mother guilt feeling get in the way of having a fabulous trip. Just over two years ago, she left for 10 days without her kids and husband to climb the great wall of China. She knows exactly how I am feeling. Only another woman would.

However, its time to stand up to the decision I made eight months ago when it felt so easy and now board the plane and enjoy the trip. Thankfully my girlfriend is leaving her kids and husband as well, so we can have a glass of champagne, let it out and get on with the fun.

Onwards and upwards without mother guilt!

See you soon

xxx

Leading up to Las Vegas...

I am off to Las Vegas next week with a girlfriend for a week. The purpose of the trip is attend a Women's Business Conference, which is just so exciting! We have had this trip booked for months and now as we are in the final countdown, I am feeling a little nervous about it all.

For one, I have only been away for 2 nights from the kids at the most in the seven years of being their mother. We are use to my husband travelling for work, however, for me to leave my domain is a huge step. I will miss them incredibly, but I know, I will return with more patience and more time which is a result of time out for me.

As I check-in to my flight, I will be travelling as myself. Not as a mother or a wife, or as a family. Just me.

Lucky enough I am travelling with a great friend who is just as excited about the whole concept. We are on a mission together to absorb all that we can from the conference, shop as much as we can fit in our suitcase and enjoy our time out with gratitude.

Cant wait to share my travels and stories xx

How time flies by.....

The middle photo is my favourite photo of Kye and I. When he was stable enough, I would ask the midwives everyday if I could Kangaroo Care my baby. This is when your baby is skin to skin with you and next to your heartbeat. Whenever Kye was in this position his heartbeat, his breathing, his vital signs would all stabilise. It was where he loved to be. I would just stare at him and visualise him growing into a healthy baby. Some days this was hard when we had set backs, but most days, it would be the moment I would look forward to as it would give me hope.

People would walk past Special Care and take a double look to see if Kye was really a baby. He was so tiny, so tiny! It still brings tears to my eyes reflecting back. Tears of the memory of how I felt at the time - scared, uncertain, sad, frustrated and tears because time has enabled my son to grow into a little man full of life and great health.

I am thankful everyday for the recovery and growth Kye has made thus far in life. We have just noticed how much he has grown in the past few months. Its like he is on steriods! His physical development has always been slow which has never concerned us as we always knew it would take some time for him to catch up. But now, he really has grown into a gorgeous little man with long legs. He still has a baby's bum and minimal body fat, but he has a sharp mind, excellent eyesight, great speech and a personality that cracks you up with laughter.

He is my inspiration!

Rainbows

"The way I see it, if you want a rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain" - Dolly Parton

Baby Miracles

An extract from my book:

"Baby miracles change people. Mothers learn patience, self-control, endurance and, most of all, unconditional love. For the fathers who are searching for the true meaning of life there is a sudden understanding of what it’s all about"

Read more in the Sydney Morning Herald today:

http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/parenting/baby/miracle-beginnings-20091022-hatw.html?page=-1&s_rid=rainbow:hp4:miracle-beginnings:eb:baby:23oct09

Enjoy xx

Weddings...

Scott and I attended a wedding last weekend with old friends. It was a fab night as we always have such a great time with the gang when we are together.

The happy couple are in their mid to late twenties, as are all their friends. So, us "oldies" showed them a great time with our dance moves on the dancefloor.

Aside from the champagne, great food and dancing up a storm, it was beautiful to see mothers from late 20's to late 30's let go and have a fab time. With all the kids being babysat, it was a forum to enjoy adult company and relax.

Weddings also give you an opportunity to think about your own marriage. I am lucky enough to have been married to my soul mate for 10.5 years and to have met him 18 years ago. When you hear the wedding vows, you always think back to your special day and look how far you have come. I feel extremely blessed to still love my mate more than ever.

Growing Pains

Its hard to know why we go through difficult times in our life and what we are suppose to learn from the experience.

However, when you are longer in that moment, you can reflect and think about the lessons learnt. Going through hard times is what I call "Growing Pains".

We are women, as mothers, need to keep growing in every area of our life, especially with regard to our spirit. We often shy away from opportunities that seem to hard, too confrontational or too risky. BUT if you take the leap of faith and grab the opportunity, you will experience some growing pains with a huge reward on the other side.

I remember how hard it was for me to go through therapy after Kye's birth. It was confrontational, emotional, hard work and just exhausting! But now on reflection, I know that was the most important moment of my life for myself thus far. I cleaned out all the scares and learnt how to take one step infront of another to move ahead in life. The reward was my sanity and becoming a better, not bitter, person.

If an opportunity knocks on your door that asks you to step outside your comfort zone, I dare you to take the leap. Dont worry if you are scared, we all are! Just know that you are putting pieces of yourself back together and the journey is so much more rewarding than the destination.

To have growing pains means you are living your life to the fullest!

The excitment about the book

Its all happening in our house! It's hard to tell if the kids think its normal that their mum has written a book.

When we received the delivery, there was alot of excitement!! Then there was the launch, which the kids arrived at the tail end and felt the excitement. They observed all the flowers arriving and the presents, plus Scott and I celebrating every minute of the day.

Today I walked into a book shop and spotted Miracle Beginnings on the shelf. I had to remain remotely cool, but felt like punching the air, jumping on the counter and yelling out "can you see my book!". Instead, I just starred at the copies and felt shocked!!! Until my four year old Kye YELLED OUT "Mumma, look, they have the same book as we do at home". Brings it all back to reality.

Tonight, Hanna asked me if she could read Miracle Beginnings. We gave her a copy. She came downstairs after 45 minutes to announce she had read the book. We asked her what she thought and she said "It made me feel sad when I read about Kye, but it made me feel happy when I was born and I thought it was funny about me". She had stopped at Kye's birth, thank goodness. Probably best for her to read later on in her life........

Breathing Space....

Take the time today to ....

take 10 deep breaths
close your eyes for 3 minutes

eat a piece of chocolate guilt free

call a friend just to say hi

send a thank you email to someone you love

be grateful for all that you have

Take the time today for you!

Overwhelming Response....

What a week it has been!! Have sold an amazing amount of books in my first week and the responses have been overwhelming. I have had friends and family texting, emailing, calling me to tell me how much they enjoyed the book.

Here are some of the responses:

"My bestie is sitting out on my back lawn reading your book bawling her eyes out! She is a mum of 4 and loves your honesty"

"I read your book!!! You moved me, I cried, I felt your pain, you are a remarkable woman and mother, what an achievement, you should be so proud, as I am of you. You will touch and open many hearts"

"Thank you VERY MUCH for causing my sleep deprivation! Couldn't put your bloody book down last night! Already half way thru and aim to finish it tonight! Its weird reading a book when you know the characters in it! Great idea to have Scott's contribution too"

"Oh my god Raquel, I’m only into the first couple of paragraphs and feel like I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster with you. I had no idea what you went through... you are truly amazing!"

"The book is FANTASTIC! You are an amazing woman and you inspire me in every way. I can't believe it I nearly finished reading it and I can't put it down. You went thru sooooo much but could always find the positive side and move on. I LOVE the book and I think you are a gorgeous person"

**********************************************************************************

I am so grateful for all the wonderful feedback and encouragement. Thank you!!

PS I received a text yesterday from a special friend who told me she had just walked into Dymocks in the City and there on display is Miracle Beginnings with 20 copies.......so excited!!!!!!!

The Official Book Launch

What a special day! Celebrating with my closest family and friends to launch the new book Miracle Beginnings. The photos say it all - happiness, champagne, friendship and celebrations...here are a few photos - enjoy!

Scott popped in after the celebrations as it was strictly females only!

This is my mother in law (on the left), Nanna Lorna in the middle and my mother (on the right)

Beautiful friends from school and our fabulous web designer, Flora, in blue

My long time friend and business partner, Jodie

This is Bec who you will read about in the book

My special friend Amanda (who you will read about in the book) presenting me with a gorgeous clock to represent so many important things to me

My stunning girlfriends celebrating with champas

Every woman loves flowers

I am waiting for my books to arrive......cant wait! As I am waiting, I have received beautiful bunches of flowers from gorgeous friends sending their love and congratulations for the launch of Miracle Beginnings.

To receive flowers, to me, is such a special way to show your feelings. I am always grateful for the thought to send the flowers and the thought of choosing the flowers to send. I just wish they could last forever!!

As of next Tuesday, Miracle Beginnings is on sale in all book shops around Australia and NZ, as well as from our website. I cant wait for you to read this special book and share in what I have written over the past four years.

Breathing Space......

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more.

If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough" - Oprah

"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement.

Nothing can be done without hope and confidence" - Helen Keller

"Be miserable. Or motivate yourself.
Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice" - Wayne Dyer

Girls Night Out

I am truly blessed to have such a great group of long standing friends in my life. Today, after a huge day and night out for a friend's hens day, I am feeling exhausted, complete, happy and my tummy muscles are aching from laughing so much.

We started the day at 10.00am and arrived home after midnight. We laughed, chatted, danced, drank champagne and had a ball. I feel into bed laughing, such a great way to end the day.

There was a small group of us with the hens brigade who have known each for over 15 years. A special bond is there that guarantees a great time. We were together for over 12 hours yesterday and I loved every minute.

The hen had a fantastic night and by the end of the long day felt liberated and free with herself. It was such a great site to see. No inhibitions, no judgement, no stress. She had a fantastic time.

Going out with the girls has to be one of the best form of medication for stress, depression and living the routine every day. To let lose and relive your youth is revitalising.

I just feel really lucky to have special friends in my life that give me so much than they would ever know. To them, I am thankful.

My big boy Kye

Kye has a very special place in my heart, as do all my kids, but this strong little man has grown from strength to strength.

Kye has a very strong personality and there seems to be no grey areas, he is either really happy or really cranky!!! We manage his personality without breaking his spirit by creating boundaries.

Up until a year ago, Kye was a very anxious and nervous little boy. He would freak out with loud noises or unfamiliar places. He would want to be close to me to feel safe and he would often experience mini panic attacks when he felt insecure or anxious.

We took Kye to his pediatrician to make sure medically he was ok, which he was. So we knew the next step was to nurture his emotional behaviour. I was blessed to find a special lady who changed Kye's life forever.

Kye and I visited the special doctor who he was wary of to begin with. The special doctor is an expert in Kinesiology. She worked her magic, which allowed Kye to relax and release his stress. The magic had to have been seen for you to believe the change. After our session, you could see the shift in his behaviour. We attended once more and he even allowed the special doctor massage him with special oils, which he had never let anyone do in his 3 years of life.

Since this time, Kye has grown in leaps and bounds. It was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and he was free.

Just this morning, I found him in the kitchen eating his breakfast, which he had prepared by himself (first time achievement!). There was rice milk everywhere, which I overlooked and hugged him with pride. He also went on to tell me that he had just done a poo and wiped his own bum (another first time achievement). His smile was from ear to ear beaming with excitement.

For not one moment do I take his place on this earth for granted. He makes me smile everyday.

A Women's Worth

I feel really tired today! It has been a huge week from all angles of my life and at the end of week I am exhausted.

The husband and I had lunch together today and I mentioned I just felt like closing my eyes for 5 minutes. He encouraged me to do so and told me to do it without guilt......

As I was laying there, of course unable to sleep, I was thinking about how much we value ourselves or should I say de-value ourselves. How often do we just take 10 minutes of out the day and just be still? We always feel guilty as there is so much to do and to take 10 minutes would be selfish. Or is it?

I curled up on our daybed and closed my eyes. I shut my mind down as it was on overdrive and listened to the birds and stillness. After 10 minutes, I got up and continued on with my work. It was nice to just be still and do nothing.

We are worth this precious downtime to have the energy to keep going. Everyone benefits especially ourselves. I just need to learn to incorporate more downtime in my day to day to life and with the 10 minutes I had today, I am looking forward to my 10 minutes tomorrow.

Show up as Yourself

When do we really know who we are? Is there a certain age or life changing experience?

Do you ever question, who am I?

Are you trying to be what everyone else wants you to be? Or are you imitating the person you want to be to hide from your true self.

Here is my verdict - tell the truth, share the truth and live the truth to find YOU.

Sound easy? No way, its hard work. Here is how it works:

Tell the truth - Try and tell the truth, the real deal, as often as you can. There is a fine line of spurting words out with no care and gently speaking the truth. Be honest and upfront in a dignified way

Share the truth - No hiding behind closed doors. We always feel so much better when we share the truth about our experiences that have moulded us into who we are. You can tell when someone is ready to share the truth, they have worked through their own healing and ready to share this with others.

Live the truth - Keep true to thyself. Be ethical. Be yourself. STOP trying to be like other woman and create your own life with your own ways.

Deliberately take this challenge on and see what happens.

Post Natal Depression is not a swear word!

Last night I was chilling out on the lounge watching some telly. I flicked across to SBS Insight and the topic for the show was "Post Natal Depression". It caught my attention immediately.

Finally, there was an open forum of men and women who were talking openly and honestly about the affects of post natal depression. It was priceless.

One of the main reasons I wrote my book was to speak about post natal depression. It all seems so hush, hush and not a topic of conversation. Women are either in denial or embarrassed to talk about what they are going through or what they went through.

I know when I was suffereing from this depression, I pretended everything was fine, but deep down inside I knew there was something wrong. Its so easy to live day to day and smile, yet in the privacy of your pillow, cry and feel anxious about every detail of your day.

From last night's program, it has given me an burst of motivation to create more awareness.

Watch this space ladies!

The book has ARRIVED!

What a moment! I opened the letterbox and there was the package holding my book. I held it for a moment. Maybe a moment too long, as the postman came back up the hill to see if there was anything wrong with the package he had just delivered!

I sat down on the lounge, closed my eyes and opened the package. As I opened my eyes to see the book for the first time, tears filled before I could even look at contents. It was a special moment.

All the journal entries, the scribbled notes, the disappointment of my first publisher financially unable to publish the book to finding my new publisher who has created a masterpiece. I had goosebumps and I was in awe of the special book that I held in my hands.

It was surreal. The book looks like one on the shops!. It has come together FINALLY.

Four years ago when I started to write the book, a family friend questioned my purpose and advised that it would be a difficult task to take on as I had no experience in writing or publishing.

Little did this family friend know that my mindset and my determination was all I needed.

The purpose of writing Miracle Beginnings has always been bigger than me. I am just the messenger. The purpose is about to reveal itself with the launch of the book and I cant wait to see what unfolds.

Spreading the word to help each other

My 2nd prem, Kye

My girlfriend messaged me yesterday explaining she had passed on the Miracle Beginnings website details to a friend of a friend who had just delivered a 30 week prem baby.

This is what our website is all about - spreading the word to help each other.

When I had both my prem babies there was not enough information readily available for me, as the mother. I had no idea that my feelings and fears were normal. All I wanted was connection with a mother who had been where I had found myself.

Having a prem baby is never what we expect when we fall pregnant. Therefore, it is always a shock when we are told that our baby will arrive early, in some cases, too early.

My prayers and thoughts are with this special mother who has just delivered a 30 week prem baby.

I hope that someday she will visit Miracle Beginnings when she is ready to connect and help herself through this tough time.

Sleep deprivation

This is my little man Lukas! He woke last night with a bout of croup. No pre-warning, just screaming at 1am and coughing like a sick dog or cranky seal! Off to the hospital to get the steroids. Around 3.30am we arrived home. I laid in bed, for what seemed another hour starring at the ceiling. I was grateful we were home in our beds and Lu was sleeping peacefully after his medication.

Today, the sleep deprivation reminded me of the days when I had arrived home with my second prem, Kye. I forgot how hard it is to function on minimal and disrupted sleep.

As a prem mum, we are usually up every couple of hours feeding our babies or expressing milk or trying to sleep to fit in sleep in around waking hours.

Here is a reminder of what you need to do to keep your energy at a level in which you can function and get through the day.

• Make sure you hydrate. Drink as much water as possible and then some more.
• Rest when you can. Sleep when the baby is sleeping.
• Don't fall to the temptation of eating. When we are tired, we feel like all the junk food and sugar available. Have a choc or two, but also incorporate healthy food for energy.
• Keep your activity low. If you feeling really, really, really tired - accept it! Don't put too much pressure on yourself to do everything on your to do list. Would anyone notice if you postpone your list till tomorrow
• Try some meditation - its like a power nap. My trainer and our fitness expert on our web, Colleen, has a fantastic CD to help you through a 15 minute meditation. You will feel like you have slept for 12 hours

Sleep is such a wonderful thing! We all just need more off it.

Wishing you all a restful night, I know I will be snoring by 8pm!

Superwoman - who is she?

Would the real Superwoman please sit down! You are sending out the message to all of us to be just like you. The pressure is mounting and the image is slipping. Let's make a deal and become real woman who do not feel like being Superwoman all of the time.

The secret - there is no Superwoman. We all feel like we know one, but to be honest, we are creating her in our mind. How? We are comparing ourselves to other woman who do more than we do and we always feel inadequate in comparison. We have a facade to take us through life.

I was watching my favourite show in the world today, Oprah, and enjoyed her interview with Christina Applegate on her double mascatomy. Such an inspiration and touching interview. It was fantastic to see the real her. She admitted that somedays she would put on the act of being Superwoman and on those days, all she really wanted was for her friends and family to still hug her and let let her be her trueself.

Whilst she was speaking, I could relate to her, but through my own experience. After having Kye, my second prem, I became Superwoman for survival as I was afraid of who I would be if I let down my sheild. I was not doing myself any favours as it all came back to bite me when I was least expecting the breakdown.

There are many of us who are trying to live up to these Superwoman standards that somehow have been set by society, mainly the female population.

Be yourself.

If you admiring another woman on how much she fits in to her life or how her children always look immaculate or how her house it always spotless, just do that, admire. Don't try and be her. We are all different and all lead different lives with different benchmarks.

The only person who will suffer from feeling inadequate is you. The only person who puts pressure on herself is you. Give yourself a break and challenge yourself to be the person YOU want to be.

Date Night with the husband

As you may know, the husband and I have been together for 18 years. Yes, we met when we were very, very young!

When I talk about this to other women they are amazed as there are many of us who are on our 2nd and maybe even our 3rd marriage still searching for our soul mate.

Having our babies, especially our prem babies, were testing times for our marriage. Thankfully, we created a strong foundation in our relationship and worked as a team. This played a huge role during those times.

Also having three kids under 6yrs and running 5 businesses between the two of us makes our lives very busy. It would be easy to keep our head down and just get done what needs to be done.

However, we truly value our marriage and know that life would not work without each other being happy and working on our communication.

We agreed about 12 months ago to introduce date night one night every week. The way it works is simple. Every Thursday night is our night. We take turns each week arranging something special to do or share with the other. If we have something on the Thursday night, we change it to the Wednesday, that way, we never miss out.

We have three rules - no talk about finances, business or kids!

Our date night is a night where we are booked in to spend quality time together. The majority of date nights are in our home with the odd occasion going out for dinner. It does not have to be expensive, its the thought and effort that counts. We have had some great date nights including last night.

It was the husband's turn to put something together.

I adore custard filled canoli Italian sweets. I rarely eat them as they are not readily available unless we go to leichhardt or an Italian restaurant. I have a savory tooth, but the canolis send me weak at the knees every time.

Knowing my addiction to these Italian sweets, the husband went shopping and found the canoli biscuit pastry rolls and purchased patisserie custard, which he had to blend with cream and then pipe in to the shell. This was all being done whilst I was in a bubble bath with a glass of red wine (on my own and loving every second).

When I joined him, he proudly presented a plate of homemade canolis. I could not believe it! I was very impressed. We sat down and enjoyed every mouthful. We chatted for a few hours and enjoyed each others company.

Date night is all about connection. It is easy to live in the same house, have dinner together every night as a family, be with the kids and even work together without really knowing what is going on inside your partners head.

Try it ....... have fun with it and commit to it!

I have made it to Week 10....

Well nearly! I am 3 days away from entering in my tenth week of sticking to my exercise program. Unbelievable!

I am very proud of myself. I have exercised 5 days a week for 30 minutes for 10 weeks. I am on a mission to achieve my goal of no wobbly bits!

Colleen, my fabulous trainer, has created a program that is intense and works within my busy life. I have not dieted (cant stand depriving myself) although I have included more vegetables and fruit. I was too confused to know when not to eat carbs, so I eat them all the time!

The results....its starting to come together. I no longer look like I am four months pregnant and muscle tone is finally breaking through the fat. My boobs, which previously hit my knee caps, are now perky, which is a benefit from a certain style of push up. Although, last night, Kye asked why my boobs were saggy. Nothing like a four year old making you feel fantastic!

Its amazing what you can achieve when you really put your mind to the goal. When you really make the decision. I have always known this in my professional life, but to implement the process for my health has been life changing. I actually have time to exercise. I can no longer use that excuse. It's all about making it a priority and just doing it.

Bring on summer - I will be the one in the leopard skin bikini on the beach (with maybe a sarong for added confidence!).

Taking Time Out.....

There is nothing like getting away from "life" to rejuvernate ourselves. By life, I mean the kids, the husband, the house, the work, the routine, the cleaning, the 10 million the things we do every day as mothers.

Sometimes it's difficult to get away, however, even if you can take time out just for a few hours you will often find by setting yourself free, that you will find your missing pieces.

My special friend was visiting on the weekend and we organised to go out for lunch. We chose a fabulous funky spot on the waters edge, we felt like we were on holidays. It felt so wonderful to be in her company and have the quality time without any interuptions. We were there as long life friends with our special bond.

We chatted and chatted and chatted about what's happening in our lives and how we were feeling. By the end of our two hour lunch, it felt as though we had been on a weekend away and attended a counselling session! It was theraputic, energising and priceless.

My special friend has a unique qualities. She knows how to listen, how to give advice without a lecture or knowing it all, how to be honest with me about my life and about hers. I am so grateful for her in my life.

When I returned home many hours later, I came home a new person. After a huge week of running around with life, I was relaxed and ready to take on witching hour. The husband had the house under control and the kids were happily playing with each other.

The time out was all I needed to refocus and keep on track.........

Sistahood

With the launch of our new website www.miraclebeginnings.com.au, I have been overwhelmed with the beautiful response, impact and praise.

The emails, the hugs, the text messages......all so special.

When creating the website, I wrote from my heart. The mission was to be honest and real which would then allow others to do the same. From the emails, I have received, I know the mission has been completed.

Just this week, I was dropping Kye off to kindy and one of his teachers came running out the classroom to congratulate me. She has always been very special to our family as she also looked after Hanna for her first three years of kindy/schooling. She told me how much this website is needed for women and the community of "Sistahood". The special teacher told me how much she loved the "Spirit" section and how this information is needed for woman, especially mothers. We ended with a huge hug and a smile that connected the Sistahood.

If you look at the website, its truly what its all about. Women looking after women. Why do we have to be in competition with other women or compare ourselves with the result always feeling undeserving.

Let's support each other. Let's listen to each other. We are all missing the connection when we babble on about ourselves or gossip. The missing connection, if noticed, could change a woman's life. Just by being genuinely interested in what she has to say about herself.

Take time to nurture the Sistahood - as in turn it will nurture you.

Upon Reflection Four Years Later

We just celebrated the fourth birthday of Kye. He had an absolute ball on his birthday with celebrations spanning over 4 days. Including a fun filled afternoon at Funz Play City with 14 of his friends in the dinosaur party room.

After we had arrived home and all the presents were opened. The kids went to bed filled with sugar, happiness and tiredness.

Scott and I opened a bottle of red wine and celebrate how far Kye had come in the past four years. We also reflected on the night he was born and the shock of the aftermath. I became teary as I remembered how frustrated I was the day after Kye was born. When he was crying and agitated just 24 hours old. The midwife called my room to ask for me to come down to comfort him. I cried as I hung up the phone as I was bed ridden with a spinal headache and unable to move. Scott raced down to the Special Care ward to take control and hold our child. I was left helpless and frustrated in my room. This was only the beginning of the disappointments we experienced in our journey with Kye's recovery from his premature birth.

It was so hard at that point to be grateful for any moment. However, as I look back now, gratitude would have helped more than I could have imagined. Gratitude pulls you through.

On reflection of Kye's birth, we shared our sad moments and then turned the conversation into what we were grateful for today. We are extremely grateful for the beautiful development of Kye, mentally, physically and emotionally. He is growing into a happy, less frustrated little boy who prefers to wear a princess dress with high heels at the moment and watch Wizard of Oz at any spare chance!

I am starting to see results!

This exercise stuff is hard work. Like most things in life, its not the physical component that is the struggle, it is the mental.

Every morning I argue with myself about getting out of bed. For the non-morning people, I know you understand me! However, once I am up and ready to exercise. I actually love it. I feel like I have climbed up a huge mountain (getting out of bed) and then running down the mountain with enjoyment (the actual exercise).

Now, to be honest, this has surprised me. I disliked early mornings and exercise. Both were on my YUK list. But now, with my new program and mission, I am actually enjoying the process.

It also helps when you start to see results. I caught a glimpse at my arms this morning whilst skipping and could not believe the change that has started to occur. They don't seem to look like bingo wings. It motivated me to keep going with my skipping, even though I could not breath and felt like I was about to vomit.

I am midway through week 4. I am a women on a mission. If you need motivating, I have the perfect trainer for you. The best part about my trainer is that she is not standing there with me telling me to do 10 push ups. I personally don't need the motivation. I need the accountability. Knowing that she knows what I am planning on achieving, keeps me on my toes. We also chat once a week about the exercise program and how I am feeling. No whinging though, she actually loves the fact that I am hurting, unable to walk and about to vomit.

Yes, I know, it takes effort to achieve what you really want in life. I just wish the effort of getting up would become easier!

A conversation with a stranger

Last week I had the amazing opportunity to launch my book to a great group of sales rep for our distributing company. It was such a buzz.

On my travels back home to Sydney, I had organised a driver to pick me up from the conference to take me to the airport. My driver, Louie, asked how my day had been. I explained it was a great day with the launch of my book. He asked for more details.....as I continued to go on about the book, you could see the sincere interest in his eyes. Impressed, especially for a bloke! There was a reason why.

Louie explained that his sister had a baby three months ago with complications. They had been in and out of hospital with a series of operations. His sister had never fully recovered from the emotional trauma of it all and he asked me "Will she ever be back to herself again".

At that moment, I felt a huge sense of pride that my experiences from childbirth has finally come full circle and in turn, be able to help another woman. This is why I wrote the book and this moment validated I was on track.

I explained to Louie that she needs to get some professional help. He confirmed she was actually visiting a psychologist that day. I told him she has won half the battle. The first battle is admitting you are emotionally traumatise by the circumstances and that you have changed as a person. Changed with fear, with sadness, with depression.

I assured Louie that with the commitment to work at the issues, to confront the emotions and to grow as a person his sister will return to the person he remembers. It will take some work on the road of confronting the past, but the future, free of depression, is worth every step backwards and forwards. I encouraged him to offer her love and support, no advice, no lectures, just pure love and support.

As I left Louie at the airport, he gave me a hug and thanked me for the counselling session we had in the car. It was all in good timing for both him and me.

The Excercise

I hate exercise!

Ok, here is the truth. I really do hate exercise. I have a repetitive pattern. When I am on with the fitness regimine, I am on for about 2 weeks and then give up. I find it hard to get back the momentum. I love what exercise gives me - sanity, strength, healthy body, balance...but there is always an excuse as to why I just dont get around to fitting it in my life.

I am not overweight, but I have the "muffin top" and "tuckshop arms" with no muscle strength at all. I love to eat and I know if I incorporate exercise into my life that it would make a huge difference.

As you may know, the husband has a background of personal training. He claims that I have been his worse client thus far. He has written a gazillion programes, which all are sitting in my folder. I asked him a few months ago for another program and this was it, I was ready to change my life and embrace exercise. He told me NO. He was not interested until I proved that I was committed for more than 3 weeks.

I huffed and puffed, as I knew he was right. I started waking at 6am in the morning and would do skipping and my own body weight movements for half an hour before the kids woke. I had reading an amazing article about Michelle Obama about how she came to a point in her life where she realised she could not rely on her husband to make her happy. She had to find her own happiness and decided to do so with exercise. As a busy lawyer and a mother of two, she had no time! But she found time by getting up at 4.30am every morning for a workout and still does to this day.

My commitment lasted longer than I expected about 4 weeks. Then the husband went overseas for work and my routine all collasped. I found it hard to get back into the cycle of exercise.

BUT then, I saw P!nK live in concert. I was gobbed smacked at her amazing body and strength. At that moment, I made a decision to myself to stop finding excuses and reasons to not achieve the body and fitness I dream of, but to step up and take on the challenge.

It just happened that I was working with Colleen (our fitness expert) on her articles for our website, when she offered her services. She scared me a little as she is not intereste in excuses and told me straight up that I need to start working out 5 days a week for 30 minutes. What have I done!! And she said she would call me at 5.30am if I was not up doing the program. I must admit that Colleen is the perfect person for the job, I need accountability and a tough woman to keep me on track.

So, watch this space.........I will keep you updated on my progress. I start Monday!!

The Sign

A few days ago I was approached by a mum at my son's kindy asking to purchase a copy of my book. Her friend had just delivered twin girls at 32 weeks and she thought my book would be helpful for her. I explained that the book was due for launch in October, however, I had a spare promotional copy that she could have as a gift.

The mother was so thankful and appreciated the gift. The next day I gave her a copy with a note to the new mum.

Today, the mother came up to me at kindy to give me a huge hug and kiss. With tears in her eyes, she explained how she picked up my book last night to flick through before going to bed and completely got caught up in the story. She read the book from cover to cover until 12.30am!! She explained how much she was moved by the book and how she could relate in so many ways. She was gorgeous as she kept kissing and hugging me with sincere motherly love.

It was a defining moment for me. This mother was the first "stranger" to read my book and the result was exactly why I had written the book! It was just another sign that I am on the right path and the book will help the millions of woman that I envisage.

Until next time,
Raquel
x

The Arrival

How did I arrive at this point - creating my first blog for Miracle Beginnings. Its a moment in time. I remember laying in bed after having my first prem baby thinking how it would be possible to make sense of what had just happened. I remember laying in bed after my second prem baby knowing that I had to make a difference to women, just like me, who have found themselves in a similar situation with the question "what now!".

After 4 years of planning and creating, all of my ideas are coming together. The excitement is overwhelming. I can clearly see my vision and how Miracle Beginnings will impact millions of women.

I truly feel grateful for attracting the right people to help me with my vision. It is so true of the saying, when you are ready the teacher will appear.

My ultimate goal is opening Mummas Retreat. This is going to be like nothing else available on this planet. With the action steps in place the vision clear as day, I know we will be sending a launch invitation within the next 12-18 months. Cant wait!!!

In the meantime, I am pumped to have a virtual Mummas Retreat online to get the momentum going. It is such a rewarding feeling to be able to offer a helping hand to women who are ready to change their life in a positive way.

Life is great! Hanna, Kye and Lu bring me laughter and chaos every day. Would not change a thing. And as for the husband, he continues to support me and make me laugh every day as well. To have a healthy, happy family is really what we all can aim for. I make a conscious decision every day to make it my priority.Until next time